Tips to Getting Back Together with the Ex

If you’re interested in getting back together with the ex, the first thing you have to do is get him or her to return your phone calls. Let’s first take a look at how NOT to approach the issue. There are two messages that almost never work and, even worse, put you in an awful psychological position.

The first is the PLEA, where the message sounds like "Fred, please, please, please call me. This is the third time I have called. I HAVE to talk to you."

The other is the EMERGENCY: "Sue, this is an emergency. Please call me as soon as you get this."

I think you can see what is wrong with both of those approaches, but I still haven’t given you what does work. The secret lies in using curiosity and self-interest, two of the most powerful forces in the human mind.

Let's look at what you can say that works nearly every time. In a friendly tone, just say: "Hi, Fred. It's Sue. I wanted to let you know I appreciate what you did for me. Call me because I want to thank you in person."

Fred will NOT be able to resist! "What did I do?" "What does she appreciate?" he will be thinking. And he’ll feel good because it is a positive message.

A word of caution, though: Before you call, you need to do the "Set Up" ... which is figuring out what he/she did that you appreciate. It can be a small thing, but it needs to be plausible.

AND, more importantly, you need to have an underlying strategy established BEFORE you call. What you do before, during, and after they return your call is more important than getting them to return your call.

Have a PLAN first! At this site, you can get a copy of T. Dub Jackson’s book The Magic of Making Up. By reading it, you’ll know what to say when they do return that call! You’ll know how to get back together with the ex.